people keep asking me, "so katey, what do you want to do with your photography, weddings, yah?" and "so what were you doing before you got this job?" no good answer for either question.
i want to know what to do with my life. apparently i'm the only one that can decide that.. but that's really easier said than done. sometimes, lately, i really wonder if photography is what i want to do at all. there. i said it. i like it, but i don't think i'm great and i don't think i'm going to be happy with a life where i have to struggle to find business all the time. i don't want to keep searching for a job that doesn't exist, and waiting to figure out how i can make it work. i'm tired of it. i just want to do something, anything, that makes me good money and doesn't make me miserable. work is work. i don't care anymore. i really don't. i don't have to stay in the job forever, i just want it now.. just for now.
i have never been patient, and i doubt i ever will be. i change my mind all the time. i am passionate about how much i dislike something, but not as much about things i like.
of course i'd love to find something that makes me extremely happy, and makes me great money, but come on.. that's not going to happen.
why can't things just happen now.
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