today in life

today i am glad my mom is home from puerto vallarta. she was gone alot of last week out of the country with sara, and i do NOT like having the house to myself at night. its scary!

work is fine. i'm doing an engagement photoshoot for one of my managers in a couple weeks which is pretty cool i guess, but makes me a little nervous. and other than that, its wedding fever. i'm in 2 weddings in the next 3-4 months. i feel more are on the way. i'm pretty excited about it! but my work is going to be very annoyed with how much time i need to take off. its just a receptionist job but i hate to let people down. work or friends. its not easy.

i hate that i can't figure out what to do with my life. i don't have a plan. i don't have a goal. i got lost somewhere... or i never knew where i was headed. i just thought things would eventually sort themselves out, and they haven't. i turn 23 in april.. i thought by now i would have some direction but i just can't get it together. i go back and forth, grad school, no grad school... business or art, business and art, teaching or art, i don't know. i really don't. i hate the unknown. your whole life up until now is just about being a student. well i know how to get good grades.. i don't know how to be a grown up i guess.

but i know have so much to be thankful for. this is just a temporary hurdle. i'll succeed one day i hope. i just have to keep pushing.