ugghhh

so apparently julie and I (will more her than me) spilled the beans about something sara didn't want us to share, via FB. no she's not pregnant.. but it was something good and we were excited. and she's super pissed bc she's worried it will get her in trouble at work. greeeaaaaat

but anyways, today was a pretty good day, because it was so pretty outside. and i got a bunch of errands done, and ran at the park. other than that, i've applied to some jobs, i hope i get one of them. that would be... unexpected, seeing as i've had little to no success in about 6 months. lol.

that stupid commercial for Joe's crab shack where the guy says "take your top off" to the girl, referring to her steamed plate having a lid on it, is so IRRITATING AND DUMMMMBBBB. gah i hate it so much. i mean, i hate a lot of commericals, but that one has been on so much and its so idiotic i can;t take it anymore. its up there with those freakin oldnavy commercials. kill me.

november?

how is it november. seriously. all the leaves are starting to fall off... at first its cute and then its like, wait a minute i'm about to have to look at bare trees for 4 months, this isn't that great. i am slowly getting into wearing pants again... not voluntarily. i hate jeans, they never fit just right, and it costs so much for a really good pair. what's up with that?

anyways, the last week has been so much fun. i've gotten to see so many people that i love, and go to the mountains and enjoy all the beautiful colors. lets see... well wednesday i went to lunch with ana and dana, that was so much fun. and then i went to help out at fall fest at church with dana, that was cute because all the kids were adorable in their costumes! and then we went to dinner with fleka!

then friday i went to the mountains with mom, sara, and travis. we went to Burt's pumpkin patch!!! and then to Amicalola falls, both of which we used to go to all the time when we were little. I love it up there... sigh. then i got back and mary came to gwinnett, before she was off to atl. we went to dinner and halloween wig shopping for her. yay! after that Julie and I carved my pumpkin, into Conan's face!! haha it was my first time doing a hard pattern... it turned out awesome though! and then yesterday i watched the game (boo) and then went to halloween parties with ailya in atl, ending up at audra's party! i went as a tacky tourist, let me tell you, i was comfortable and i didn't look like a whore, i don't need that. it was so much fuuun!

good good week. i hope this week is just as good :)

holidays

nothing like the holidays to make you feel great about being single. its a month until Thanksgiving, and only 2 months til Christmas. what the heck. i don't like this. all i want for Christmas is a job. yes, even more than a man, i want a job.

but you know, i really need to stop complaining. people are going through much worse things. i know i'm a huge baby to complain all the time, it takes someone telling me how much they're going through for me to put things into perspective. i have my health. i have a family that loves me, and is also healthy. i can't believe how i take that for granted. God is so good. i know this will get better soon. i have to have faith.

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." -Hebrews 11:1

let me break it down.

i don't know what i want.

i feel like i'm not good at anything.

how do i fix that.

decisions and stuff

i went to SCAD today. it was beautiful... they have an insanely nice campus. they should, for what they charge you to go there. daaanng. but i don't know. it didn't really clear things up.. it made me more confused i think.

i told mom i was also looking at College of Charleston. she said we could go on a tour there too. I do need to know what i my options are, this is a big decision. a lot of money. and i don't even know if art management is what i want to do. Tell me, do you think that i could manage other people? really, please tell me. i dont know. i think it's something that i could learn to do, but what if i'm not good at it? or what if i hate it? man.. life is so hard. like there are so many decisions. and nobody can or will make them for you. its time to grow up, and i want to, i just don't want to make a mistake. i feel like i screw up constantly.

i made a mistake just this morning when i apparently set up our tour at the SCAD in Savannah.. we wasted 30 min driving there in morning rush hour before i called and found out it was wrong, and we turned around because at the Atl campus the tours start an hour and a half later. shheeeesh. wasted an hour and woke up at 7am for NOTHING.

well.. i guess i just need to keep on praying and thinking about this. life is hard. luckily julie gave me my own words of wisdom yesterday, to help me.. "life sucks, then you die." classic.

scad?

my new boots. i like them but i have to get skinny jeans i guess if i want to wear them outside the pants. i just dont think that'll be flattering on me...

anyways, tomorrow i'm taking a tour of SCAD in atl with mom. i hope it helps me make up my mind. i have to put together my portfolio tonight so they can help me decide if it looks good. on the other hand, i've been looking at college of charleston as well, they also have an arts management program. but its 5.5 hours away. i don't know.. its not like i can just drive over there and take a tour.

so for now just pray i make a decision. i am tired of living this way with no job and no idea what to do with my life. its soooo boring.

not much goin on

well, i'm glad uga won this week, let's just hope that they pull the upset of the year and beat florida. that would be hilarious. other than that, i know the season's shot... well, there's always next year.

so there's not much to say. i still think i have shingles. i'm dealing with it.. my new health insurance sucks so i can't go to the doctor.

i just got back from the avenue. i bought a pair of pants and 2 shirts. yay. i had like no winter clothes. i'm going later to starbucks with Ailya. i was going to go to buckhead church with katey and megan but i am tired... i went to church this morning, i dont like going twice in one day.. its too much!

i can't wait for the Sweetwater Festival (err.. "deep roots" festival) on friday/saturday! its gonna be so much fun! i hope its not too cold. or rainy.

ok thats it.